Interview with Giora Carmi
Born in Israel in 1944, a second son. Later a sister was adopted into the family. Grew up in a small village called Kfar Malal.
Lost his father who was killed while fighting in Israel’s War of Independence (1948). Married in 1965. Later had two daughters and one son.
Fulfilled his obligatory army service. Had a series of spiritual experiences throughout life. Discovered his ability to “read” art. Discovered Zen.
Studied Graphic Design at Bezalel Academy of Art and Design in Jerusalem. Was a freelance graphic designer and illustrator for 14 years.
Taught illustration and typography. Wrote and illustrated for the children’s magazine, Pilon.
Came to the US in 1985 where he was a freelance illustrator in NYC for 17 years. Illustrated regularly for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, as well as others.
Illustrated, both in Israel and the US, 42 children’s books, two of which he also wrote. Studied Zen for 12 years with the late Chinese Zen master Shen-yen.
Studied Art Therapy at NYU. Worked as an Art Therapist for 14 years. Developed a new approach to art therapy while doing two internships in a county jail. Later, after further development of the method, wrote the book, “Opening Intuitive Flow Through Artwork”. Studied the Release Technique, Theta Healing, Reiki, and a few other approaches to human development. In 2020 he published the illustrated book “Who AM I?”, as a humorous but practical aid to self reflection. These days he lives in NYC with his partner Anita Gold, where he paints, writes prose, poetry and nonfiction, including the blog “Intuitive Flow” (IntuitiveFlow.org).
In your artist statement, you describe making art as a pilgrimage inward, aiming to connect with the deepest energies of who we are. Can you elaborate on how your personal experiences and losses have shaped this inward journey and how they manifest in your artwork?
Everything that we encounter, as we live with active senses, creates, in response, patterns of movements in the subtle energies of our body. There are the obvious ones, the emotions that we recognize and that have been given names in our culture, like sadness, worry, joy, etc., and there are many more, to which we have not given names. That’s where it starts to be interesting for me. This is where I go with my art.
Our inner world is constantly activated in this way.
If we follow with attention the different ways that our inner energies move and create their configurations, we can go from the gross to the subtle. The more subtle we go with our attention, the closer we get to the initial calmness of something infinite and indefinable. This infinite mystery is who we really are: primordial peace.
If you smile a little bit when you read this, it means that you have felt it already in your life. So close, so easy.
Usually we look at our world not from this peaceful place but from a less deep layer, so to speak, of ourselves. I am saying “so to speak” because there are no borders anywhere. We are just habituated somehow to dive into certain depths and look from there. And we change these depths constantly.
When we dive deeper, another way to call it is to say that we become more aware. Here is the connection to meditation. And when we look from that peaceful place, with no barriers at all, it is pure awareness that is looking, and it is the deepest us, that has no end.
We are all in a spiritual journey, to discover who we really are. Maybe most of us are not aware of it. But we are going there anyway. Pilgrimage for me is not going to a holy place somewhere in the world but sinking deeper and deeper through the layers of subtlety of our inner energetic movements and configurations. So my pilgrimage has a direction, and no end.
I suddenly remember. In my thirties I did a conceptual art project that I described later, when I was asked about it, as drawing a line that has a direction but no end. I have always been interested in this.
Every movement of energy has a thought associated with it. In fact it is the thought that moves the energy, to create the experience that we want to have. So thoughts are energies that shape energy into what we call reality. But if we catch a thought in its earliest phase, they have not yet had a chance to accumulate enough energy to create anything.
In this case, suddenly we are at a choice spot.
You can choose if you want to believe the thought and go along with it, so that something will be created, or you can choose to remain in awareness. I'll give an example. Let's say I become afraid of something, and I am paying attention to what I feel. I am at the choice spot. If I go on with the feeling, I will run away or fight, maybe. In this case, I will loose the state of awareness. Or, you can say, I'll move to a shallower layer of myself. If I choose to remain in awareness, the fear will dissolve. This is a step deeper. This is how you walk deeper.
It turns out that art making is a fantastic way to move our consciousness to an awareness state. When we use our sense of beauty to make our choices in art making, and when we use curiosity, playfulness, joy and love, we are actually using different features of awareness already. And this brings our center of attention deeper and deeper. This is the inner pilgrimage that I do.
There is a second part to what I do. I also write about what I painted. I read the art for myself. What this does is, it brings the thought connection back to the feeling experiences, and this is taken by the subconscious mind, which, in turn, starts to replace the old, habitual thinking patterns with this deeper, and wiser knowledge that came through direct experience. This is how we help ourselves evolve.
So you see, there certainly were events in my life that had an effect on everything that came after them. But I had this tendency to contemplate, to look inwards and see what happens with the subtle energies. And as a result of this tendency, awareness happened, and I pilgrimaged inward. It took many years.
My father was killed in Israel’s war of independence. When it happened, I already had thoughts in me that made this death even more traumatic than it could otherwise be. The psychological results of this lasted many years. My trying to heal from them were done through psychological help. It took many years. some relief was reached. But what really shifted the course of my life was the developing of awareness. That’s when I learned to let the stories of the feelings go, and when the energies played their relations without the verbal meanings, they naturally settled into harmony.
I am going to add a question to your questionnaire. Let’s say that I have resolved my psychological problems one by one through developing my capability to be aware, and now I am without any psychological problems.
What shall I do with my life now? This happened to me several times throughout my life (Not that I got rid of everything. I had partial relief). I think that the answer is: Play. I invent problems in art making and resolve them through art making. Why do I do it? Because it is beautiful and I love beauty. Because it is interesting and I love interesting things. And it is beneficial for others too. Looking at the art, they become aware of the problems, as they are presented in the art, and of the energetic play of the elements, as they resolve the problems playfully. With the help of the artworks the viewers sink into the level of awareness in which it is pleasant and interesting to fool around with subtle energies. So you can say that the paintings are doors inward, with invitations to contemplate.
Energetic conflicts also have to do with the health of the body. As long as there is this energetic conflict in the body, the energies that maintain the body functioning cannot have the free access to all the body, as they should have, and this results in ill health.
In more accessible terms, this is how the psychological realm interferes with our health.
When you catch your tendencies in this early stage, when they are movements of energy in your body, the conditions in the outer world, that could result from them, will not happen. Seeing the energetic little movements inside, we also feel how unpleasant it is to feel this way, If we feel bad, and there is an automatic choice to not feel bad. And in this way we change inwardly, evolutionally. This is how this activity is beneficial.
Again, saying the same thing in a more common way will be: awareness alone brings about a meaningful positive change in the inner atmosphere of our thoughts and feelings. In my case, and I believe in many other artists' case, the art making presents our awareness.
This is why I also call this process meditation. This is exactly what meditation does. Only when you do this process through art, you also express love, joy, playfulness and curiosity in a fuller way, and by doing this you align yourself with your deeper, wiser layers of consciousness, and this alignment is also meditation.
From graphic design in Israel to illustration in the U.S., and now to your expressive use of watercolor and colored pencils, how has each medium contributed uniquely to your exploration of self and the energies you seek through your art?
For a reason that I do not know, the line, or the drawing in the art has always been very important to me. Maybe lines are closest to the most basic movement in the mind, from desiring something to choosing to move in the direction of achieving it. I almost always start with making lines. They may be heavy or light. But they have to be expressive. They have to be successful in capturing the way those subtle energy movements in the body are felt directly. This, for me is very much like what "being present" in meditation means. Maybe it also has to do with how you feel the existence of space all around you, when you draw a line. I live with an emphasized experience of space around me.
If the lines that I make do not capture my interest as I am doing them, I lose interest in doing the art. They have to be capable of describing the energies that I encounter inwardly, and how they relate to the feeling of space.
So for a lifetime I always had an issue with my lines. For example, there was a time in which my illustrations had thin sharp lines to define areas. And I did not feel comfortable with them. They felt to me as if they were cutting the shapes away from the rest of the art. I tried many kinds of lines and many instruments and techniques, but never felt completely satisfied with them.
When I worked as an art therapist I used to engage in art making when the clients were doing their art. And I found that drawing with watercolors was a very satisfying way for me, in the sessions, to feel those energies both in me and in the client. The lines were simple technically, direct and very rich in expressions. You add more color and the line becomes darker or intense. You add water and the line becomes transparent and rich in nuances. You tremble a little and it shows clearly. The mark that you make with the brush remains clear (I do wet on dry). This does not happen when the lines are done with a crayon or pastel. There the edges are fuzzy. And don't forget the color value. The lines are heavy enough for the color to show.
There is more: a line done in a soft instrument remains emotional. But when you make the line with watercolor, it creates, in addition to the emotional content, a definition. This means that at the same time that you expressed the feeling you also was aware, like a witness. This witnessing is an essential element in all my art. As things happen, I take a little distance from them and become a witness.
These are the circumstances in which I fell in love with drawing with watercolors.
The areas of color have a pencil line around them and this too is an expression of witnessing. It is not a planning line that aids me in making the color fall where I want it, until it is done, and I can erase it. The lines are how I note to myself where the color areas end. I love the way they feel, because this is how I look at the world. I am moved and I define for myself, not in words, what happens.
When you work in this way, something happens in the process, which is very important to the way I work. My focus, as I draw my encounter with the energies, is on what I called direct experience of the encounter. But every movement of energy comes from a thought. Maybe an example will be helpful. Let's say I am in a taxi in the summer in New York and I hear the buzz of the wings of a fly, who is with me in the cabin. I may have thoughts about how unpleasant it can be if the fly decides to stand on me. Maybe I think about the possibility that the fly is carrying some disease. And maybe I start to consider opening a window to let this fly escape. All of these thoughts create movements of energy in different places within my body, and this is what I feel. So the kinesthetic feeling comes with a story. It is always so. And usually we consider the story very important and we relate to the whole event based on what the story means to us. But if we are doing that kind of drawing that I do, the value of the stories that relate to it becomes less and less important. The emphasis on the meaningfulness of the experiences are reduced. And when the meaning leaves, the energies quieten, and we suddenly encounter the endless primordial ocean of the source of everything. This is where the deeper, more fundamental motivations reside.
This is where the process leads.
At first this endless space looks like nothing. In time we discover that it has characteristics. These are love and enthusiasm to engage, like what we can find in babies' eyes when they look at the world around them.
Even if we do not reach this state, which is what usually happens, this is when, in my art making, I paint the color areas. So painting the color shapes comes from a deeper place, which is more loving and therefore gives a more loving perspective of the encounter.
For the color areas I looked for a different feeling. I did not want the color areas to have the same effect as the lines. I wanted to have a dialogue. To be more specific, even though I was not completely aware of this at the time of making the art in this way for the first time, it was clear to me that I did not want the whole area of the painting to have the same characteristics of the watercolor. I looked for something less emotional, more contemplative. The colored Pencils gave me this. Acrylic looked too dead, when I placed acrylic paint near the watercolor. Painting with the color pencils gave me a more alive surface. It even has a texture. But it is, when the pencils are pressed hard (and with the right paper), uniform enough to be less emotional and nuanced enough to belong with the watercolors. So there is a contrast and a belonging at the same time.
I have to say though that I have changed this in the time that passed from when I made the website, to now. Now I am using gouache for the areas of color, and this gives me more freedom to be exact with the color that I want. I see the color that I want to use for a specific area in my imagination before I paint it, and I can mix it. Chances are that it will change again.
Gouache paints are very much like watercolors. But there is some other material that is mixed into the paint, to make it more opaque. This weakens the intensity of the color a little bit, and thus pushes the areas of paint visually a little backward, as if away from us.
Having a dialogue between the two phases of the work is for me like having a conversation in a story that I write instead of a description of what was said. I took a course in writing for children, before I studied art therapy, and they kept saying: "Don't tell. Show!" And I agree that this is a more convincing and alive way to present an experience.
You mention that you draw and paint intuitively, allowing the deepest parts of yourself to communicate. Can you walk us through what a typical session of creating looks like for you, and how do you maintain this intuitive connection consistently in your work?
There is a confusion about intuition. Many people think that to be intuitive means that you can, very quickly, find relevant parts of your memory that answer a specific question or help solve a specific problem that you are working on. But intuition is really tuning into a higher realm of consciousness or we can call it a deeper part of ourselves. Information for the content of our minds comes to us through alignment with the level of consciousness that gives access to the content that we look for.
When you align with a higher level of consciousness , everything that is in a lower level becomes knowable to you. So if you try to know something about your psychological level, you have to go higher or deeper and the psychological level will be open for your observation. When you get the information from there, you are intuitive. Many of us do it, even do it a lot, without knowing that this is what we do.
So intuitive knowledge is accessible without having to think about it. It comes as direct experience. We can translate it into thoughts if we want to understand it in a human thinking way, and we can let it express itself as art or many other ways. I love to express it through art.
The higher self is a state of consciousness that expresses itself as beauty, joy, curiosity, love, playfulness compassion and more. This part of our consciousness is what in Zen calls the true self. I described it as part of our consciousness, but it is really the other way around. Everything that we know, including thinking and feeling is inside of our true self. Art is the natural language of our true self. We all have it. This is who we really are. Beauty is a natural way for it to express itself.
What I do when I make art is following my sense of beauty when I paint. This is the trick. Following my curiosity is also good, as well as being playful and paying attention to what feels inwardly true. When I work like this, as long as I remain loyal to it, I am intuitive. Ideas come to me without an effort. I only have to be open to them and allow them to come.
I like to have many instruments around me, on the table, so that if I want to use something that I did not use before, it will be there, ready. Years ago, when I worked on a series of art works for an exhibition in Koln, Germany, many of these instruments that I had on my table ended up being glued to the canvases, because it felt like the right thing to have there.
Having studied meditation under the Chinese Buddhist master Shen-yen, how has this discipline influenced your creative process and the thematic elements of your artwork? Do you see direct reflections of your meditation practices in the art you create?
Studying Zen comes after a lifetime of interest and attraction to it. Undoubtedly it did influence both the themes and the way of making the art.
But Zen is only one of the pathways that people use to find answers to fundamental questions that, maybe , we all have. The questions are, or may be: Who am I? What am I? What am I doing here? What is the meaning of life? If there is a purpose in living, am I fulfilling it? And: What to do now? So these questions are really what is at the core of my art-making and, I believe, at the core of many people's activities.
In a way I have answered this already. But I'll write again in another way.
The aim of meditation or Zen (as it is in other mystical traditions) is to become who we already are, but do not realize it. We don't realize it because we have many beliefs that block the possibility of its manifestation. Like in all aspects of Zen, it is really impossible to describe fully what Zen means. This is so because Zen is looking at life from a different, non verbal perspective. So explaining in words does not help.
The aim of the training is to bring yourself to this other perspective. As you train, this other perspective becomes more and more clear, until it becomes your permanent way of knowing reality. As such, it is also the source of your motivation and actions. It is possible to live Zen without being able to explain it in a full and satisfying way. And the training is exactly that. We bring ourselves into living Zen and this is the training. I think it is true for all the different ways that people train in all the spiritual paths, but I am not absolutely sure. So I'll leave this a little undetermined.
This is also true for the way I make art and for what I want to achieve. When I do my art by only following the desires of my sense of beauty, I align myself with that other, non verbal perspective. During art making I am in my destination, (which seems to be, to create my world in the most beautiful way that I can). I don't have a goal, because I am already there. I am doing it. The goal is not static but dynamic.
After finishing one work, there is some rest and very soon the heart starts looking for a new adventure, which will be the next piece.
There is another aspect of my art making that aligns with the practice of Zen. It is allowing what wants to come from the unknown come. I start a new painting with the first color that catches my eyes as I look at the paintbox.
When I start a line I have no idea about where it is going to go, or how will be its final shape. These choices happen as I am in the midst of making it. It means that I am open to whatever signals I get from inside of me, and I respond immediately. The inner world is always speaking. There is always a message in what I paint and I can decipher this message when I "read" my art after I finish it.
I took a little break from writing, and listened to a jazz video on YouTube. Billy Taylor and three other musicians played. It was a program that presented jazz and answered questions from the audience. They are all fantastic musicians. But they played a very restrained jazz, maybe because they wanted to teach the essentials of jazz to the audience. I realized that when I explain how I work I get myself into the same kind of mood. Not crazy enough for my taste. So I decided to include here another kind of "talking". When I finish painting a piece I "read" it for myself. It is part of my process. I try to translate what I learned from being a witness to my own inner processes. In many cases this reading comes out as a poem. And there is a poem for almost every painting that I make. I will give an example:
In this case, here, the poem explained my process itself, or actually everybody's process and I feel much more comfortable with presenting this as my answer to your question.
Again. (Explaining the inexplicable)
It does mot make a difference
That I exist.
My meaning is only meaningful
As part of the whole
And what it does as such:
The chest stops in awe
And out of a huge love
The only real is pressed
Into becoming the existing
That does not exist.
The existing then becomes a "want"
And the "want", in turn,
Becomes the “now.”
But only for a minute,
After which
Everything begins to change
Again.
You enjoy being surprised by unexpected questions and interests. What has been the most surprising reaction or interpretation someone has had to your artwork, and how has it influenced your perspective on your own creations?
The biggest surprise happened to me when I worked as an illustrator.
I illustrated for a series of articles that criticized the way the state of Israel was using money that was contributed to it by people in America. They made use of the money in ways that contradicted the will of the people who made the contributions. The articles were published, with my illustrations, in the magazine Baltimore Jewish Times. One group of such contributors decided to print the articles with my illustrations in a little book that they would then give to every participant in the coming conference of the World Jewish Organization. People from all over the world were to meet in Jerusalem, as they did every four years.
In the widely publicized opening of the conference, the little book was on the top of the pile of brochures that every participant received. The leader of the organization tapped on the microphone with one hand, to hush the crowd, while with his other hand he picked up the little book and looked at it.
Then he said that the conference is cancelled. He refused to have a conference that included the illustrations in this little book. My cover illustration stopped the conference.
I saw the power of illustration. But illustration is art with the stories in it.
It took years for me to learn that my fine art, where the art is not aided by the stories, has power too. When I was true to my sense of beauty, my world became more beautiful. The effect is much more subtle, but strong nevertheless. My experience of the world that I live in changes because of how I look at it.
I am also surprised by the quick response to my work. I just started “my fourth career” and I am already flooded by offers to show.
You've chosen to create very small pictures that invite close, personal interaction. What led you to this choice, and how do you think this scale affects the viewer's experience compared to larger works?
When I was an illustrator and did many children’s books, I always preferred to make the illustrations in the same size that they would be looked at. There is a tradition in the profession to make the illustrations bigger than the size they would be printed, so that when they are reduced for the book, everything in them will look more precise and clean. I did not like this. I loved it when the children who read the books saw the picture exactly as I saw them. Imprecision was an advantage to me. I think I have the same bias, you can say, about fine art. I am pleased when the viewers see the art work exactly as I saw it when making it. I want them to see that the art is not reality, but an interpretation of it. I want the viewers to see the art as I see it, so that they have the best possible experience of it. It is like the way my partner, Anita, likes to sit in the first row in the theater, where she can see the sweat on the actors’ faces. The expression of the effort that goes Into making the art shows both at the same time, that the art is a game, and an important game, worth putting the effort into it.
It is comfortable. I work at my table, because I cannot stand and walk. When you make big works you have to walk around, take a distance, move it around in the room, etc. I simply can't do this. I have a disease of the nerves in my feet. It is called Peripheral Neuropathy. It hurts like hell when I stand and walk. So it is clear. I am also used to this size, after all the years of doing illustration.
The main thing is that I am doing this art for myself. For me it is a communication with the deeper regions of my consciousness. For me it is like going into an inner infinite space. When you go into this space through art making it feels different than when you go there through meditation.
I like the experience of the road. I encounter all kinds of textures, weight, movements, colors. It is a trip, and I do not know what will be found there. Every trip is new. I do not judge or prefer. I just want to experience it. And when I finish and it looks so beautiful to me, I am in awe. I don't understand how such beauty came through my actions. I am thankful. And when I "read" the art, I always find that there is a message in there for me that is relevant and timely. It is like a conversation. I trust this talker from the other side and I have developed deep love to him/her. Or maybe them. The more I trust, the more he/she/ they say later. So you see, it is a very private conversation. Then I am left with something in the physical world and I see its beauty. And I want to share this, the product and the experience.
I believe it has a function in our life and in anybody'd life, if the person is interested in this private encounter with a different inner reality. A conversation with a very trusted friend. It is in the language of shapes, lines, spaces, colors, textures, and most of all the composition. The composition is the most important to me. And you do not need a huge area in order to experience it. For me, when I look at the little artworks, it is like looking in to an infinite space. I can feel the subtle movements of energy in my body.
So it is not done as a deceleration of an ideology. It just comes to me naturally to do it this way. I do not compare.
One of the characteristics of the inner worlds is that comparing, which is so important in our outer world, is not important there at all. It is all about experience.
Your transition into art therapy introduced a novel approach to using art for emotional and physical healing. Could you discuss a specific instance where you witnessed a profound transformation in someone through the art therapy techniques you developed?
I'll take a physical change, that is dramatic, if you are familiar with migraines.
A client came to a remote session with a migraine. I was familiar with migraines. I had migraines for two and a half years. They were debilitating, they used to last five days after which I would have a one day break and the next migraine would start.
I asked her, the client, if she wanted to get rid of the migraine through the art making and she agreed.
Here is the process:
Feel where is the pain.
Draw the outline of the pain. You don't have to draw the body. Pay close attention and finish all the outline of the shape.
Do it again.
Usually the pain increases at this point. This is because before we do the process we fight against the pain, with some success. So as we start being interested in how the pain looks, we relax our fighting a little, and it gives the pain a chance to become more fully expressed.
The result in the drawing will be an increase in size or in intensity.
Do it again.
The pain still may increase.
Do it again.
Now the pain starts to become smaller or changes its form.
Again.
With the next steps the pain keeps getting smaller, sometimes it moves to a different place, sometimes it breaks into two or more parts.
Then it becomes very small and eventually disappears.
This took the whole session. But she was without the migraine in the session’s end end.
The magic force here is the awareness. Everything belongs to our consciousness, that has many layers of depth. If we manage to become aware of anything in the body, it means that we have separated ourselves from the level of consciousness that had created the pain, and came to a deeper state, deeper than the state that created the pain. So now, instead of being in a war with the pain, we are curious (Curiosity is one of the characteristics of the deeper states, and if we feel it, it means that we are already aligned with a deeper state, and have a higher energy than the thing we are aware of). The lower energy of the pain creation dissolves in the higher energy of the awareness, and the situation changes. The pain does not disappear at once, because it still has the momentum to create itself. But it is reduced through the steps and eventually goes away.
Another example: A client told me in our first session that she had been diagnosed with depression. From age ten she knew that she was depressed. The guidance was to do a drawing, in which she only followed her individual sense of beauty. There was no goal in the art making except for this. When she finished her drawing she did not feel depressed. This surprised her very much.
How did it happen?
By paying attention to her sense of beauty and following it, she started to have the energy of a deeper state. The deeper state is happier, so she was not depressed.
Now you can see that every single session, in which the method was used, the people who painted in this way felt better. There was no session without good results. I ever stopped being enthusiastic about this.
Doing it long term, you discover many patterns of thoughts that prevent feeling good and become free of them, free to express the deeper state of consciousness that is in you from the beginning and is happier.
I'll add another one.
A former patient called me. When I came to you I was timid and shy, she said. I continued to use the method on my own and I am not shy any more. I want to teach the method to others.
She has started teaching it.
In your process, you mentioned channeling the deepest energies. Could you explain how you prepare yourself to be a conduit for these energies, and who or what do you feel you connect with during these creative moments?
I don't know how much of all that I said and did throughout my life was channeled. But I do know that a lot was. To me it was just the natural way things worked. I was not aware that I was given the information. But many times it would turn out later that what I said was exactly what the person I spoke with needed at that moment.
My channeling was not about the future or why things happened. It always was about what is important to know now, so that you can use this knowledge to help yourself. I was almost compelled to say these things.
With the years of meditation I learned experientially that almost all that we think comes out of habitual thinking and fear. And this kind of thinking never feels happy. But every time we feel good, it is because some of this sad thinking was released, and when we were not burdened by these sad thoughts, we felt good, which is the natural state of mind and feelings when we are without thoughts. A deeper layer of our consciousness is exposed and naturally it is happier. If all that comes from the deeper, happier layer of our consciousness can be considered channeling, then we all are channeling a lot. This is what I think. Also creativity comes from these deeper layers, so creativity is also channeled.
Many years of meditation brought me to a general state that is deeper than where most people are for most of the time. It made me laugh a lot and create a lot. I also generally love people and find it easy to befriend them.
Also, for many years I belonged to a spiritual group that offered to teach channeling. I took the course. I read a book. During the course I was led to meet with my guide. I was awakened one night by a voice that was speaking to me. These days, if I ask him anything, I feel his answer. I don't hear a voice. I feel. I preferred to get messages through art, and this is what I get usually. I ask, I make a piece, and I read the answer in my art. So making art for me is actually a conversation. And I feel very strong love and friendship. I usually also can tell if what I do makes him happy. I know other people whose connection to a guide, or guides is stronger and more clear than mine.
So I do not prepare myself for channeling. I meditate many times through the day, not as a chore, but naturally being in that state. this keeps me close. And I paint and write every day, which also keeps me close. I use a process of art making that takes me deeper on its own.
What do I feel I connect with?
It is like a huge cloud of love and friendship somewhere in the meditative space. I cannot feel him with the five senses, but with my energy. Also, the space, of which there is a lot in my paintings, is this meditative space, which for me is alive. This too is what I feel I am connected to and listening to.
Facing a progressive illness has changed the way you create art. How has this challenge impacted your artistic expression and philosophy? Has it introduced new themes or techniques in your work?
The illness and the fact that it is progressive did not change my interest and direction, but did change the intensity with which I engage with the art.
I always knew that art can help me to survive, because I love so much doing it, and because it helps to make sense of the situation I am in. But when I started my blog (IntuitiveFlow.org) I decided to use art, and my method in art therapy as the main way for me to heal.
The medical establishment does not have a healing solution for this disease. I tried all of what they offered with no success. There are a number of alternative medicine people who claim that they know how to heal it. The alternative ways can be divided into two categories. Those who use scientific approach, just like main stream medicine, but are more daring to also use knowledge beyond what is being taught in medical schools, and there are those who use knowledge that comes from the different spiritual traditions. It is not scientific, but has its roots in personal experience, and especially very subtle experience. I did many of both approaches too, with no success.
I don't ignore science, but being blessed with having subtle sensitivity, I naturally belong to the third group.
I made the choice to heal myself through my own method. This made my art making more intense. And once I discovered that my art making is actually a two way communication, I started to love it even more.
I think that every artist does it. Even if not every artist uses his or her art making as healing, they all heal from doing it. Just looking at art already has a healing effect.
Important parts of my practice are: to be very true to what I feel, to tune into myself very intensely and subtly, to allow what comes comes and respect it just as it is, to have my own sense of beauty be my main guide, entering a flow, and probably more considerations like these. These are all common to all artists. Many artists also write about their art making. The differences between me and other artists, I think, are in being different people. Every human being is different. Each of us is a unique expression of the whole.
As for themes and techniques, they did change slowly. As you focus more on the subtle movements of energy, your focus goes deeper in the layers of who you are. The changes are not dramatic. They are more subtle and have to do with paying attention more keenly. So you care more if your line or area of color are not exactly as you wanted them to be. You are more open to changes, but they have to come from within you.
As you embark on what you describe as your fourth career, what are your aspirations for this phase? How do you hope your legacy as an artist will be perceived. Particularly in terms of the intimate and meditative qualities of your work?
The most important thing for me is that I am making the art for myself. The benefit is in the doing, at the time of doing. What happens later is a different thing. There is joy in sharing. And yes, I do want for the art to have the effect of inviting the viewer to venture into his/her infinite inner space and into the wonder that is within.
When I go to a museum or an exhibition, after I spend some time in this special attention that you only give to art, feeling the compositions, reading between the lines, going with the music, when I am outside in the end, looking at the world, everything that is around me feels like art. Have you had this happen to you? This is an evidence that viewing the art has moved the energies inside of you toward a deeper connection to life and to beauty. Yes, I do hope that my art will have such an effect on people. This is a way to share the best that comes to me. I think that this is the best that we all can do. In this way we will complete the big picture for all of us, of who and what we are.
Thank you for your questions. They really put me to think about my work and life.
I just spoke with a friend and described the process of making a painting. A shape comes. I place it on the paper. It is doing what it wants to do. I do not control it or change it. It finds how it wants to behave on the page. So basically I let every shape that comes to the paper be itself. I do not complain about its independence. It remains true to itself. Nevertheless, in the, end all the pieces together work in harmony.
This is what composition is for me. A true democracy of sorts.
